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There Is This Edge Within Me [entries|friends|calendar]
The Mild Sunset

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[28 Dec 2011|07:21pm]
Vermont still has my heart and is my home.
That is a problem.

I am not somewhere that feeds my soul or enriches me. 
That is also a problem.

But, I'm learning a lot about how to set myself free and I think I need this. 

Dualities are key. 
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Vermont has my heart and is my home. [31 Dec 2010|05:04pm]
Hey look:
Time goes on, and Love goes on, and all the world is stunning in its own specific way.
Even if that way causes such loss and pain.

No one reads this anymore. No one writes in this anymore.
I am so very free.

I am vibrating and stretching.
Don't ever stay in a place that doesn't feed your emotions.
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[15 Sep 2009|10:44am]
My eyes were just enlarged.

I couldn't ask for anything more. All I can do is try to give back.
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[11 Aug 2009|10:48pm]
It's ridiculous how difficult it is for me to set my sights on things within reach.
I try to remember how many incredibly beautiful people I know and how many things make me feel alive.

Speaking of which, I can't wait until the 30th.
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[29 Jul 2009|10:29pm]
Maybe I need to be forgiven
and not only by you.
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[22 Jul 2009|09:05am]
I've come to a certain kind of peace,
or at least to as much as I can experience at once.

I keep dreaming about moving back into Green Mountain. I can't wait for when that happens.
I keep dreaming in general.
It might get me into trouble, but we'll see about that.
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[29 Jun 2009|11:28pm]
Life isn't meant to be played along with.

"Solitude is a human presumption. Every quiet step is thunder to beetle life underfoot, a tug of impalpable thread on the web pulling mate to mate and predator to prey, a beginning or an end. Every choice is a world made new for the chosen."
Prodigal Summer - (page four hundred forty four)
Barbara Kingsolver is brilliant.

I am acid rain.
I've become so restless at night.
I never want to sleep.

I'm in deep and Lauren isn't here.
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[25 Jun 2009|12:30am]
I'd say that we have comfort zones for a reason and we should stick to them.

Most of the world is outside my comfort zone.
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[22 Jun 2009|04:12pm]
It's true that I'm detached
and not emotionally connected with the actions in my life,
but I don't know what to do about that.

I can be detached and still need to separate, which is what this is.
I don't want to feel responsible for emotional decay, which I will.
I'm not being true.

My backyard is drowning, how about yours?
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[03 Jun 2009|10:54pm]
I made a deal with the universe today: life in exchange for life.

I was recently in Poultney, where I make complete sense in my body. I will soon be in Wilton, where my heart goes out.
These beloved places fill me up. They consume me,
but I am not consumed. 
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[25 May 2009|07:50pm]
 Lauren is gone and I'm feeling emotionally disheveled. 

The days will keep moving though;
the strings will keep vibrating.
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[23 May 2009|09:03am]
Loving someone from a distance is just as powerful.
I seem to spend a lot of time Loving people from a distance.
Moments are not my specialty. 

Oh, and books are incredible.
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[17 May 2009|04:49pm]
I'm feeling especially disconnected from the land here.
I need to work on a way out of that.
I'm going through emotional withdrawal of sorts.

At least Lauren will be here in four days.
I'm trying to be grateful for the moment but my mind is elsewhere, back in Poultney with my heart.
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[14 May 2009|02:27pm]
Green Mountain has done so much for my spirit.
It's wealth overflows.
I find myself overflowing.

I don't know how to repay the earth for Loving me so much.
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[10 May 2009|02:10pm]
The full moon took hold of a lot of people last night.
I'm feeling unsettled
about a lot of things.
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[07 May 2009|12:47pm]

I've been so consumed by my interactions with others recently I almost forgot about my relationship with myself
until yesterday. I think I'm pretty detached.
I Love Green Mountain with all of my heart, but I think I need summer
so that I can pay attention to the magnificent wooden instrument I've been neglecting lately.
It hits me hard.

It's lilac season.

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[28 Apr 2009|09:19pm]
Circumstances cannot change
beauty is powerful
it glows.

In that case, I guess Jesus was a red-head.
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[20 Apr 2009|03:31pm]
The amount of time I have before I'll be expected to pack my life into the back of a car makes me uneasy.
My life is expanding as we speak.

I wouldn't be surprised if the second hand was moving ever so slightly faster than usual.
(This seems familiar.)
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Clay [16 Apr 2009|12:23am]

it seems like I've run out of time to accomplish basic human needs
like eating and sleeping.

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: ) [08 Apr 2009|08:57am]
I've found that I have a thing for guys who could pass as Jesus.
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